UnThankful Givings
by Charky-101
Summary: Modern. Based of FRIENDS S5-Ep8. When Charlie brings home Will for thanksgiving, how will this affect his sister Lizzy? How well will she take his reaction? What happens the year after, when Will is brought back again? Has his feelings changed? Sorta ExD.


Disclaimer:**I do not own Pride and Prejudice or Friends. This is for my own amusement.**

**A/N:**

**Characters:** (Story Name-Actual Name-Person They Play)

Jack Bennet-Mr Bennet-Jack Geller

Francine 'Franny' Bennet-Mrs Bennet-Judy Geller

Charles 'Charlie' Bennet-Charles Bingley-Ross Geller

Elizabeth 'Lizzy' Bennet-Elizabeth Bennet-Monica Geller

Fitzwilliam 'Will' Darcy-Fitzwilliam Darcy-Chandler Bing

Jane Gardiner-Jane Bennet-Rachel Green

George Wickham-Mr Wickham-Chip (Mentioned)

Georgiana 'Ana' Lacey-Georgiana Darcy-Carol (Mentioned)

O.K, first of I was watching Friends Season 5, Episode 8, TOW All The Thanksgivings, and I thought about how the way Monica was insulted by Chandler reminds me of how Darcy treated Lizzy at the start of P&P, and so this came to be. I know Rachel doesn't suit Jane, but my excuse is that her boyfriend, Wickham (Don't ask!), and Lizzy having only a dorky, kind older brother didn't have much time to practice her wit (In between Eating of Course) and so is more kind, for now. Chandler hates Thanksgiving, Darcy hates most things.

The Speech is mostly taken from the episode, with a few alterations.

**O-o-O-o-O Start Story O-o-O-o-O**

_Ding! Dong!_ The Bell to the Bennet's house went.

Mrs Francine 'Franny' Bennet, who was currently setting the table for thanksgiving with her husband Mr Jack Bennet, shouted. "Elizabeth! I think Jane's here."

"I'll get it." Elizabeth 'Lizzy' Bennet shouted out, stomping down the stairs. Elizabeth was currently a senior at Longbourne high. Her friends from school would, if asked, describe her as a kind, witty girl, who was reasonably pretty and had expressive brown eyes. They would also have to mention her size, as she was extremely fat. She paused at the bottom of the stairs, smiling, and panting for breath.

She reached the door and opened it to reveal her best friend, Jane Gardiner, who was an extremely beautiful blonde with a big nose. She looked rather miserable. "Happy Thanksgiving!" She nearly shouted.

"Not for me." Moaned Jane as she entered the house. Lizzy closed the door behind her. "George and I broke up!" This was completed with a stomped foot.

Lizzy hurried after her friend, exclaiming, "Oh, why? Why? What happened?"

"Well, you know how my _parents_ were _out of town_ and George was gonna _come over…_" Jane said in a slightly disappointed tone.

"Yeah, yeah, and you were gonna give him y'know, your _flower._" Lizzy said in a hinting tone, giggling.

Jane looked away, fed up with her friend. She looked back and said, "Okay, Lizzy, can you just call it SEX? It _**really**_ creeps me out when you call it that! Okay, and by the way, while we're at it, a guys thing is not called his tenderness. Believe Me!" The last two words were spoke in a knowing tone.

Jane then walks into the living room. "Hi!" She exclaims, hugging Mrs Bennet. She'd never say it to Lizzy, okay she _would_ say it to Lizzy, but sometimes Franny Bennet would rather have Jane as her daughter than Lizzy. Heck, she'd even offered a swap with the Gardiners once.

"Hi Jane." Exclaimed Mr Bennet.

"Happy Thanksgiving." Jane told the older woman.

"You to sweetheart." Mrs Bennet replied in a loving tone reserved for only Jane… and Charlie.

At that moment Charles 'Charlie' Bennet, Lizzy's older brother and the more favoured of the siblings, entered the house with an way too cheerful, "Hey!"

After him, entered Fitzwilliam 'Will' Darcy (You're probably wondering who on earth call there son 'Fitzwilliam' and the truth is that his parents were drunk when they thought of it and it, unfortunately, stuck. So, yeah that's that), whose hair is in the '_popular_' Flock of Seagulls haircuts (It's a you have to see it to believe it thing), who shut the door, and was trying to give a smile that came of as a grimace.

Lizzy was stunned when she saw him. She thought he was absolutely gorgeous; she loved his hair, how his blue eyes sparkled a little, and he just looked gorgeous. Jane was thinking along the lines, _Whose this creep Charlie's brought home._ (Remember Jane has been tainted by Wickham).

Charlie pointed to Will and said. "Uh, everyone, this is Fitzwilliam, or Will as he prefers! My roommate and lead singer of our band. They make some strange movements with their arms. Jane laughs and Lizzy giggles.

"Ross!" Lizzy says nervously, hoping that she'll be introduced.

"Oh, this is Lizzy." Charlie replies. Will and Lizzy shake hands.

"Hi, I'm Ross's little sister."

Will looks at her, before laughing. "Okay." He says, disbelievingly, wondering how on earth she thought she was his _Little_ sister, and how they were even related.

Mrs Bennet is next to shake his hand as Jane walks away and Lizzy steps back. "I'm so glad you could come Fitzwilliam, we've got plenty of food so I hope you're hungry."

"Oh, mom. Mom." Charlie says, putting a hand on his friends shoulder. "_Will_ hates Thanksgiving and doesn't eat _any_ Thanksgiving food."

"Oh, well, I'm so glad you brought him here then." Mrs Bennet said, an undertone of disgust in her voice.

"Umm, Will, if you want I can make you some macaroni and cheese for dinner." Lizzy said admiring his face, and starts to drink some diet coke.

Will was thinking, _why the hell is this fat girl talking to me? And why does she keep looking at me like that?_ "Well, as long as the pilgrims didn't eat it, I'm in."

Lizzy laughs whilst drinking, and the Coke comes out her nose. She grabs her face, shrieking "Dammit!" Before running into the kitchen.

Charlie points out Jane to Will, whose heard about her none stop. Jane is checking out her nose in a mirror. Charlie, encouraged by Will, goes up to her. Will follows slowly.

"So, uh, Jane?" She looks at him. "Does it-Does it feel weird around here now? Y'know since I've been away at college?" Charlie asks, hopefully.

"Oh!" Exclaims Jane, pocketing her mirror. "No not really."

Charlie, hurt, continues. "Well, that's cool. So did…" He would of continued, but Jane walked away from him.

Jane stomps into the kitchen were Lizzy is preparing mac and cheese for 'The Gorgeous Guy'. She stomps her foot, before exclaiming, "Ugh! I can't believe George dumped me for that _**slut**_ Mary King. I am _never_ going out with him again. I don't care how much he begs!"

Charlie enters the kitchen and begins looking for something. Lizzy, in reply to Jane, says, "I think his begging days are over now that he's going out with Mary King."

"Y'know what? I've just had it with high school boys!" Jane ranted. This got Charlie's attention. "They are just silly. Silly, stupid boys! I'm going to start dating men!"

"Umm, I'm sorry Franny, I couldn't find that bowl that you and Jack were looking for." He said looking at Jane. Jane rolled her eyes. She knew about Charlie's crush on her, but she wasn't interested. The only reason she didn't tell him was that it was funny watching him trying to get her attention."

Lizzy turns to Charlie. "Call them _mom_ and _dad_ you loser!"

"Elizabeth!" Charlie exclaims, his voice high pitched, before storming out the room. Both Jane and Lizzy watch him leave.

_**Some Time Later**_: Lizzy walks into the living room, where Will is eating his mac and cheese. "Hey Will!" She says sitting on the couch, and he gets pushed up because of the wave she makes in the couch. "Did you like the macaroni and cheese?"

"Oh yeah, it was great. You should be a chef." He said, sarcastically.

"Okay!" Lizzy exclaims having missed the sarcasm, before staring again. Will, freaked out, gets up and leaves. Jane then runs up all excited.

"Guess what?! All that stuff about Mary King being a slut was all a rumour so George _**dumped**_ her and he wants to come over to my house tonight!"

"Oh that's so great." Lizzy says hugging her.

"I know." Jane says, happily.

"Oh gosh, listen if you and George do it tonight, promise me you'll tell me _everything_." For some reason, Liz enjoyed listening to it.

"Oh totally, totally. Y'know it's not that big a deal, we already kinda did it once y'know."

"I know, but y'know, this time you're gonna _**definitely**_ know whether or not you did it!"

"I know, I know. And oh, and this time George promised that-that this time it will last at least for an entire song!" They both gasp and raise their hands to their mouths.

Cut to the Kitchen, where Will and Charlie are doing the dishes. "So I'm thinking about asking Jane out tonight. Y'know maybe play her that song we wrote last week." Says Charlie.

"Emotional Knapsack?" Will inquires.

"Yeah."

"Right on!" They touch fists. "Oh! Uh, but, don't take to long okay? 'Cause uh, we're gonna test out our fake ID's tonight, right Ross Geller." They laugh.

"Listen, Chandler Bing," they laugh again. "If things go well, I'm gonna be out with her all night."

"Dude, don't do that to me!" Will hisses. Lizzy now enters the kitchen.

"All right, it's cook you can stay here. My parents won't mind." Lizzy smiles at the thought of being stuck with Will in the house.

"No, it's not that, I just don't want to be stuck here all night with your fat sister." Lizzy gets tears in her eyes. Right now she thought about punching the living daylights out of him.

"Hey!" Exclaims Charlie.

Lizzy storms out the kitchen upset. Her parents meet her outside the door. Mrs Bennet, holding two pies, asks, "Elizabeth, why don't you finish off these pies? I don't have any more room left in the fridge."

Liz is about to take them, but two words repeat themselves in her head. _Fat Sister. Fat Sister. __**FAT SISTER.**_

"No." She shoves the pies away. "No, thank you!" She storms up to her room, Jane following, wondering what's wrong with her friend.

"Well Franny, you did it!" Mr Bennet say's to his wife. "She's _**finally**_ full!"

**O-o-O-o-O 1 Year Later O-o-O-o-O**

Jane and Mrs Bennet are in the Bennet Kitchen. Jane has had a nose job since last Thanksgiving and is currently filing her nails.

"So Jane," Starts Mrs Bennet. "Your Mom tells me you changed your major again."

"Oh, yeah, I had too. There was never any parking by the Psychology building." Jane says, still filing.

Mr Bennet enters the room. "Hi Jane."

"Oh hi!" Says Jane.

"Wow, love your new nose!" He says, staring at it.

"Jack." Exclaims Mrs Bennet, not wanting him to pester Jane.

"What? Dr Wilson's an artist." Jane is nodding along to what he says. "He removed my mole cluster. Wanna see?" He says about to show her his behind as the doorbell rings.

"I'll get it." Mrs Bennet huffs.

"No, God!" Begs Jane. "Please, allow me!" She then runs out the kitchen to get the door. She opens it to let Charlie and Will in (Both with new styles and haircuts). "Hey!"

"Hey." He replies before running up to his mom and hugging her. "Happy Thanksgiving!" He hugs his dad.

Mr Bennet looks at Will. "God, your hair sure is different!"

"Yeah, we were just talking about that. I can't believe how stupid we used to look." Will says, before they both push there sleeves up to there elbows, looking ridiculous. Jane walks off, wondering why she was talking to them.

"So, uh, where's Lizzy?" Charlie asks, wanting to see his sister.

"She's upstairs." Mrs Bennet says before walking to the bottom of the stairs. "Elizabeth! Come down! Everyone's here! Charlie, Jane, and the boy who hates Thanksgiving!" She shouts, the last words referring to Will. She then walks off.

Lizzy enters, but it appears that she's forgotten something? What, you ask? Oh, about 150 pounds. That's right, she lost weight, big time. She's wearing a red dress that shows of her curves, with the straps around her shoulders. "Hi Will." She says in a slightly seductive tone.

"Oh. My. God!" Will gasps, staring at her.

"What-what's the matter? Is there… Is there something on my dress?" She turns around, giving him a good look.

"You just, you just look so different!" Will says pointing at her. "Terrific! That dress! That body!"

"Dude!" Charlie says glaring at him. He doesn't want to here anyone talk about his sister like that.

"Sorry." Will instantly replies. Liz has a smug smile on her face.

"Yes, yes Elizabeth is thin. It's wonderful." Mrs Bennet interrupts, tired of the talk about her least favourite child. "But what we really want to hear about is Charlie's new girlfriend." Mrs Bennet successfully shifted the topic to her favourite child. Lizzy huffs at being pushed aside.

"Oh mom! Okay, umm, her name is Georgiana, but she prefers Ana, and she's really pretty. And smart. And uh, she's-she's on the lacrosse team and the golf team. Can you believe it? She plays for both teams!" Charlie said, happy to talk about her.

"So Fitzwilliam, I guess I'll see you at dinner." Lizzy says, swinging her hips as she walks into the kitchen. Will watches her leave, admiring the view.

"Dude!" Mr Bennet nearly shouts, blocking Will's view.

"Sorry."

Meanwhile in the kitchen. Jane runs into the kitchen. "Oh-ho, my God! That was so awesome! You totally got him back for calling you fat! He was just drooling all over you. That must've felt so great."

"Well it didn't." A disappointed Lizzy told her.

"What?!" Shouts Jane. They'd planned this and everything.

"Yeah, I mean yeah, I look great. Yeah, I feel great and yeah, my heart is not in trouble anymore! Blah, blah, blah! Y'know I still don't feel like I got him back, y'know? I just want to humiliate him. I want him to be, like, naked and then I'm going to point at him and laugh!" Lizzy explained, before blushing slightly at the thought of a naked Will Darcy.

"Okay, _**that**_ we may be able to do." Jane says, not noticing the blush and putting her hands on her hips.

"How?" Lizzy eagerly asks.

"Well guys tend to get naked before they're gonna have sex." Jane explained.

Lizzy gasps, horrified. "What?! I mean, I didn't work this hard and-and-and lose all this weight so that I can give my flower to someone like him!"

"Okay, first of all, if you keep calling it that, no one's gonna ever take it. Then, second of all you're not actually gonna have sex with him! You're just gonna make him think that you are." Jane explained, again.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"And when he's naked I can throw him out in the front yard and lock the door and all the neighbours will just humiliate him." Lizzy says, a strange glint in her eye, giggling like a psycho.

Jane is oblivious to this. "Then, you will _**definitely**_ get him back!"

"Okay, so how do I make him think I wanna have sex with him?" Lizzy asks. She'd never done anything like this before and wanted to know how it's done.

"Okay, oh, here's what you do. Just act like everything around you turns you on."

Liz looks confused. "What do you mean?"

"Well, like, anything can be sexy. Like umm, oh-oh, like this dishtowel!" She grabs it and starts rubbing it on her cheek. "Ooh, ooh, this feels sooo good against my cheek! And-and if I feel a little hot, I can just dab myself with it. Or I can bring it down to my side and bring it through my fingers while I talk to him." Jane explains, once again, actually feeling a little turned on by that experience.

Lizzy is now excited. "I can do that!"

"Yeah? Okay! Good, good, because he's coming. He's coming." Will enters. "Hey, what's up?" Jane manages to say, very nonchalantly. She leaves and closes the door.

Smiling Will says, "Elizabeth, I was wondering if you could make me some of that righteous mac and cheese like last year."

Lizzy smiles falsely at him. _If it was so righteous, how come I found half of it in the BIN?_ "Umm, I'd love too!" She goes and picks a box up, and decides to follow Jane's advice and rubs the box on her cheek. "Ooh, I love macaroni and cheese. I love-I love the way this box feels against my cheek."

Will looks at her strangely,_ okay she's going back to being a freak. A HOT freak, but still a freak_. "Okay."

"Umm, and-and-and y'know if I get really hot umm, I-I like to pick up this knife." She holds the box between her shoulder and cheek, whilst carefully picking up a knife. "and-and umm, I-I put the cold steel against umm……… my body." Liz has no exposed skin, and so rubs it against her body.

"Are you all right?" Will asks, truly concerned for her.

"Oh yeah, of course. I'm fine it's just that-" She drops the box and in a reflex action tries to catch it with her arm, causing the knife to slip out her hand and flips through the air and comes point first down through Will's shoe.

_**At The Hospital**_**.** "What do we got here?" Asks a doctor.

"Twenty year old has got a severed toe on his right foot." Answers a paramedic. They go through doors into the trauma room, opening them by ramming the gurney through them feet first, causing Will to scream in pain.

"Can you please not do that feet first? You know where his injury is! Severed toe, you _**just**_ said it!" Cries an hysterical Charlie.

Ignoring Charlie, the doctor says, "It says here that the knife went right through your shoe."

"Of course it did. They're made of wicker." Exclaims Mr Bennet.

"Did you bring the toe?" Asks the docotr.

"Oh yes! I have it right here, on ice!" Lizzy says handing a bag of ice to the doctor.

The doctor opens the bag. "Don't worry son, we'll just attach it and-" The doctor stops suddenly.

"What?!" Cries Lizzy. "What is it?"

"You brought a carrot." The doctor explains.

"What?" Asks an exasperated Will.

"This isn't your toe, this is a small, very cold piece of carrot."

"You brought a carrot?!" Jane asks Lizzy.

"Oh my God!" Cries Mrs Bennet. "There's a toe in my kitchen."

"God I'm sorry! I'll go back and get it!" Lizzy exclaims.

"It's too late, all we can do now is sow up the wound." The doctor says.

"Without my toe?! I need my toe." Cries Will.

"Wait, no-no-no, I can go really fast! Dad, give me the keys to your _Porsche_!" Lizzy says.

"Oh, I'm not falling for that one!" Mr Bennet exclaims.

Will glares at Lizzy, still unanle to fully believe that she cost him his toe.

**O-o-O-o-O Finish Story O-o-O-o-O**


End file.
